At my current writing pace, it will be 2015 before I type the words “the end” on Ex-Ray. So, I’m going into lock down mode. Tuesday morning, I’m disconnecting my phone, killing the Internet connection, surrendering the remote controls to the television, DVD player and stereo to my mother, and locking the doors. I will emerge only when the first draft is complete or when I go completely insane and the van with the men with the pretty white jacket show up. Either way, I’m distancing myself from all distractions and writing.

If you don’t hear from me by next Sunday, call in the Japton Rescue Squad, okay?  No wait. Go ahead and send them my way now.  To heck with Ex-Ray, Luna Zega could use some inspiration!  See my problem? I’m too easily distracted. But look at those abs . . . don’t they just beg a story be written about them?

Oh, being locked down with the Japton Rescue Squad, NOW that’s a story!!

Poor Ex-Ray doesn’t stand a chance!

This interview has it all: polar bears, tractors, turnips, drugged GIs and Hitler. Come on. You know you can’t resist.

Check it out:  Pamela Foster Interviews Claire Croxton

For those of you who’ve read Redneck Ex and think it’s a wonderful, witty, heartwrenching, snark fest, please go to Barnes and Noble and write a review.

Here’s a link to our discussion of Redneck Ex. You might enjoy a family member’s take on the book. Yes, the book is fiction, but he was able to recognize several of the redneck characters such as cousin Trixie and Summer Leigh’s brother Dudley.

For all you romance readers, be sure to answer the two questions posed at the end of the interview. I’m dying to know.

Thanks to Sarah for her time and support!

I, on the other hand, am experiencing one of those karma-bites-you-on-the-ass moments. As you know I have four dogs. I’m not a dog person, but strays keep showing up on my doorstep. I’ve said out loud, in front of God and everybody, that if I had my way, I’d only have 2 dogs: Apun and Luna.

Reba, the blue heeler mix, is a good dog, but she’s very jealous and she’s a bully. An absolute bully.  Luna quakes at the sight of her and that makes me mad. But, Reba is the only dog with any semblance of manners and she minds. Luna is a cute little pup that I found on the side of the road. She was around 4 weeks old and she wiggled her way into my heart. She never listens and she’s the master of reaching up on the counter and dragging down food. She’s annoying, but she cute and cuddly and I love her. Apun was the first dog to come into my life. She’s big, lame and partially deaf. Again, no manners. She runs wild, but does a great job of protecting the farm from coyotes and let me just tell you, a possum doesn’t stand a chance against her. That brings me to Kadee. Kadee is the latest addition to WTF Acres. It’s not that I don’t like her, because I do, but 4 dogs is just too many.

So, in front of God and everybody, I’ve stated that I wouldn’t be upset if the dog population on our farm dwindled. As a result, little Kadee has gone missing. Can’t find her anywhere. Even drove the dark roads last night and told neighbors she was missing. Nada. Poor little thing. She’s not very friendly, so I don’t think she’d go to somone if they called. She’s limping. I’ve been treating her for a torn something or other in her shoulder.

Am I sick? Damn straight. Do I deserve it? Damn straight. Does Kadee deserve it? Not at all.

Do you mind sending happy-puppy thoughts my way? Just think of all the good karma you’ll be reaping.

Take a look and let me know what you think:

AVAILABLE MAY 18, 2012

original cover

Revised cover--I think it looks like a Harlequin cover from the 1970s

Blurb: Caroline Clayton’s sister, Gabriella, is getting married . . . to Caroline’s former fiancé, Albert. Instead of drowning her sorrows in a vat of ice cream, Caroline recruits her sultry co-worker, Raul Sobrevilla, to be her wedding date. Showing up with Mr. Hotter Better Sexier has the desired effect. Both Gabriella and Albert are jealous and Caroline’s mother is speechless for the first time in history. Even Caroline’s dad is happy with that result. Raul Sobrevilla hired on at Synergy so he could work with the best, Caroline. When she asks him to attend the wedding in Santorini, Greece, he sees it as an opportunity to prove to her that he’s her perfect partner both at the office and in the bedroom.

Excerpt:

He sat up in the chair and reached for my
hand. “I love you, Caroline. I can’t believe I
dumped you for Gabi. You’re so much more
woman than her.”

“Yes, I know. You’ve pointed that out on several
occasions.” I didn’t think he was referring to my
girth, but I never knew with him.
“I was a fool. Led on by the promise of tender,
thin thighs. I was vain enough to be flattered by the
attention of someone as beautiful as Gabi. Now I
know what they mean about surface and inner
beauty. You’re the true beauty, Caroline.”
“For God’s sake, Albert. Listen to yourself. You
aren’t capable of giving me a compliment. What
makes you think you love me?”
“I just gave you a huge compliment.” He looked
at me confused.
“Saying you were flattered by the attention of
my skinny sister and that I have inner beauty is not
a compliment. Trust me! That’s almost as bad as
saying I have ‘such a pretty face.’”
“But you do.”
“Dammit, Albert, stop before I deck you.” My
tone startled him. “You are about superficial outer
beauty and care about what people think. You need
a trophy wife to make yourself feel good. You have
the depth of a Florida snow.” He looked at me totally
dumbfounded by my analogy. “Snow in Florida. Not
very deep. Melts quickly. Give me a break. I’m
working under pressure here.”
“That’s what I love about you. You can make
analogies, even if no one understands them.” He
reached for me again.
“No!” I yelled at him. Apparently, it was louder
than I thought because Raul was in the room
instantly.
“Oh great. Ricky Ricardo to the rescue.” Albert
sneered.

A colleague was leaving NSB HOE (Hell on Earth) Department to obtain her master’s degree in some foreign place…I can’t remember if it was Pennsylvania or Prague. I was saddened to see her leave—very nice woman.

For her going away party, and we love going away parties—well, parties in general—I decided to concoct a fabulous Tiramisu. Graduate-school-bound co-worker loved Italian food. Certain things can’t be purchased in bush Alaska—or Booger County Arkansas for that matter. Ladyfingers would be the top of the list. Mascarpone cheese? Please!! Alcohol in which to soak the non-existent ladyfingers—not buying it in Barrow. Damp community—more on that later. And Booger County is dry.

A very wimpy substitution for ladyfingers is to bake a cake and slice it in thin slivers. As for the mascarpone cheese, I planned ahead and purchased some the week before when I was in Anchorage. You can use cream cheese. Booze? Well, admittedly, I had quite the stash. Only thing missing was the required Kahlua—funny how I can’t remember what happened to the bottle we brought back from Mexico.

After researching several tiramisu recipes and creative substitutions, I was able to concoct this recipe.

BARIMISU

I hate to admit this bit, so Tarimisu afficiandos, please don’t cringe.

STEP ONE: Bake a yellow cake according to the directions on the box. Bake in 9 X 13” pan. Cool and slice into thin slices.

STEP TWO:
COFFEE MIX:
1 ½ cups strong coffee.
½ sugar
2 tablespoons Grand Marnier—which is what I had on hand—you can also replace the Grand Mariner with Kahlua.
3 tablespoons of rum

Boil the coffee and sugar for about 2 minutes. Remove from stove and add alcohol. At this point, it’s always nice to add some alcohol to your system as well. I’ve found that cooking under the influence of wine is quite enjoyable.

STEP THREE:
CHEESE MIX:
1 ½ cup heavy cream
½ cup sugar
2 tablespoons vanilla
16 oz. mascarpone—if using cream cheese, use 14 oz and add 2 T of cream—mix together until creamy

Whip cream and sugar and vanilla into stiff peaks. Gradually add mascarpone

STEP FOUR:
LAYER

Line the bottom of a 9 x 13” pan with slices of the yellow cake. Drizzle with coffee mixture and then a layer of mascarpone—REPEAT—you’ll have TWO layers of dessert—cake, coffee, cream. Cake, coffee, cream

Chill for at least 4 hours. Before serving garnish with chocolate curls.