Writer of Soul-Searching Snark

So, what is the deal? I mean, really? Am I really that important that someone would hack into my account and start sending out fake messages? Sure, I’m an up-and-coming,brilliant, soon-to-be published, literary superstar and all, but why in God’s name would someone take the time to use my account to send out spam? I probably wouldn’t be that upset if the person/evil corporate conglomerate/creepy cat-hating agoraphobic sent out something of interest. Perhaps a link to a penis-enhancing cream or a link to a video that demonstrates how to shoot ping pong balls out your lady parts, but no. It was boring. There was no thought put into it. No scandal. No finesse. Just simple, humdrum, click-here and you go nowhere nonsense.

What is the point? Really. I want to know. What is the fucking point? Someone please explain this to me before I have an asthmatic coughing fit while choking on red wine. For the record, red wine out the nostrils is almost as painful as Diet Coke.

Oh, the worst part? The message was all up-in-your-face grammatically incorrect and people still thought it was from me. How insulting.


Comments on: "Hacking, Phishing, Teasing and Wheezing" (4)

  1. P. Jones said:

    I missed this hack job. Didn’t get any odd missives though if they were brilliant works of genius I, obviously, would have known instantly they weren’t from you. I do, however, often think someone has hacked into my life and is doing a damnable job of screwing it up for me.
    By the by, you are really funny when you’re angry.
    (I’m sorry. That was such a guy thing to say. But you know I meant it in a good way. Right?? Right??)

  2. P. Jones said:

    Ah oh. Left out a n’t in that last missive. Can you find it before you kill me?

  3. Madison Woods said:

    Hahahaha, I got it too, but realized it was a hack. Stupid me clicked anyway, though. Just in case.

  4. Gee, Patty, this is awful! There is no point to it. Just people being evil and mean.

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