So, what is the deal? I mean, really? Am I really that important that someone would hack into my account and start sending out fake messages? Sure, I’m an up-and-coming,brilliant, soon-to-be published, literary superstar and all, but why in God’s name would someone take the time to use my account to send out spam? I probably wouldn’t be that upset if the person/evil corporate conglomerate/creepy cat-hating agoraphobic sent out something of interest. Perhaps a link to a penis-enhancing cream or a link to a video that demonstrates how to shoot ping pong balls out your lady parts, but no. It was boring. There was no thought put into it. No scandal. No finesse. Just simple, humdrum, click-here and you go nowhere nonsense.
What is the point? Really. I want to know. What is the fucking point? Someone please explain this to me before I have an asthmatic coughing fit while choking on red wine. For the record, red wine out the nostrils is almost as painful as Diet Coke.
Oh, the worst part? The message was all up-in-your-face grammatically incorrect and people still thought it was from me. How insulting.