Writer of Soul-Searching Snark

Top 10 Travel Pet Peeves

After spending 26 hours traveling to Alaska (drive to Dallas, airport waits, drive to Wasilla,) the annoying practices of fellow travelers are fresh on my mind. Where do I start? Hmmmm…

1. It’s security. How many times do they have to tell you to take your computer out? Take off your shoes, damn it. If you don’t want to remove the belt, don’t wear it on the plane. 3 oz. means 3 oz! You can’t lug that 32 oz bottle of shampoo in your carry-on bag.

2. If the bag doesn’t fit in the overhead bin or under the seat in front of you, CHECK it! For God’s sake, luggage the size of a body bag needs it’s own seat.

3. Coach sucks, but we’re all in the cattle car together, be nice.

4. Turn OFF your freaking electronics, people. NOW!

5. Have some manners. Trim your nails BEFORE you get on the plane. The snip, snip, snip sound of the nail clippers is annoyingly awful. It’s a good thing they banned nail files, because I’d be plunging it into your throat.

6. When the fasten seat belt sign is illuminated, do NOT get up and walk about the cabin. The flight attendant screaming at you over the PA system wakes the rest of us up.

7. Keep your little dog in the kennel. Or if you do let him out, don’t let him spend the entire flight licking your arm because it soothes his nerves. Did I mention why they banned nail files?

8. If you’re chewing gum, keep it to yourself. I don’t wear ear plugs–even on noisy helicopters, but on yesterday’s flight, I did. The irony? The lady who was seated next to me announced to everyone that on her previous flight, the guy sitting next to her yammered on for 2 solid hours. She couldn’t stand it. Threw a fit about it–yammered on for about 15 minutes on the topic. Said she had to turn up her iPod in order to drown him out. So, what does she do? She chomps, smacks, pops her gum so much I actually used ear plugs–not even an iPod–ear plugs. The flight was 3 hours and 43 minutes and her jaw never stopped. I was amazed. Surprised she didn’t get a jaw cramp or something.

9. If you’re in row 24, don’t jump up and expect to get off the plane before everyone else. There are rows and rows of people ahead of you.

10. Racing to the baggage claim and standing directly in front of the chute that spits out the bags isn’t going to get your bags out first. You’re not special. We were all on the same flight and it sucked for all of us. So, be nice. Step back, let help that elderly woman with her bag. It’ll make you feel better, I promise.

I’m happy and content drinking hot chocolate by the fire, so the journey was worthwhile…

What are your travel pet peeves?

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Comments on: "Top 10 Travel Pet Peeves" (12)

  1. Had a relaxing trip up there, did you?

  2. mgmillerbooks said:

    Heh, yeah sounds real relaxing. The worst part about air travel for me is the hurry up and wait. And there’s always someone who makes the trip annoying. On my last flight, I watched a guy watch ‘Caddyshack’ on his lapatop. Every time Rodney Dangerfield came on, the guy would mime mime his gestures and mouth his lines. I also watched the same movie on four flights: King Kong. At least it wasn’t something like Airport ’75. Although it would’ve been cool if Karen Black was flying the plane.

    • Oh my, Mike, that does sound horrible. It could have been worse. Your travel companion could have been acting out scenes from Nightmare on Elm Street. No, wait. You’d like that!!

  3. Madison Woods said:

    LOL, I haven’t traveled much so maybe I haven’t had time to get past the sheer exhilaration of going to airports and getting to fly to be irritable. Usually I read once the flight is underway and if it’s a good book I can tune most anything out.

    • Madison, I usually read on flights too. On these flights, the turbulence was so bad, I couldn’t get much reading done. At least on the Seattle to Anchorage portion of the flight, once I got the ear plugs in and the plane quit jostling around, I was able to read Bayou Jesus–great book!!

  4. I seem to attract the crazies on a plane. The woman who worked for social services removing kids from bad homes and who talked to me in some made up language so the spies wouldn’t catch us. Or the man whose business card said he was a cop, but unless he was still undercover in the ’70’s, I think he earned money as a wannbe-hit man for the mob. Then, there was the time a swarm of men with blue pants and blue jackets got on the plane, all fresh from their CIA training…hmmm, now that I think about it, their commander sat next to me in first class and bought me a drink. That belongs in a different blog.

    • Linda, I love the CIA dude buying you a drink…perhaps a blog for Luna? I sat next to a guy reading the Bible once. He was reading the old testament. I looked over at him and asked, “Has that book always been in the Bible?” He gazed into my heathen eyes and said, “Yes, ma’am, it has. Shall we pray?” My response? “Nope. I’m good. Thanks!”

  5. Wow, Claire – you’ve got those down pat – most sound very familiar, though I have to say, I haven’t had to suffer through #8. I usually become Miss Anti-Social on an airplane, and bring out my iPod and a good book.

    My biggest pet peeve? People who complain and demand about delays, cancellations, etc., as if they’re the only ones who have been affected. Yes, all TOO familiar.

    Oh — and don’t forget the one where someone kicks the back of your seat the whole trip.

    Oh yeah, sitting in the middle sit between two armrest hogs.

    🙂 I think I’ll stay home for awhile.

  6. Wow, Claire – you’ve got those down pat – most sound very familiar, though I have to say, I haven’t had to suffer through #8. I usually become Miss Anti-Social on an airplane, and bring out my iPod and a good book.

    My biggest pet peeve? People who complain and demand about delays, cancellations, etc., as if they’re the only ones who have been affected. Yes, all TOO familiar.

    Oh — and don’t forget the one where someone kicks the back of your seat the whole trip.

    Oh yeah, sitting in the middle seat between two armrest hogs.

    🙂 I think I’ll stay home for awhile.

  7. Oops. What about the person who says the same thing over and over? 🙂

    You can delete that first one. My laptop hiccuped.

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