Writer of Soul-Searching Snark

When Life Gets in the Way

This post was originally published in the Oklahoma Writers Federation, Inc winter newsletter, The Report

When I quit my job to pursue a writing career and moved back to Arkansas to be near family, I honestly had no idea what I was getting myself into. I could have developed a daily schedule that outlined the number of hours a day I’d spend helping my mother, driving to the nearest town for supplies (an hour away,) feeding critters and writing, but I didn’t. Why? Because I approach life the same way I approach writing—by the seat of my pants.

The pantsing method worked fairly well for a while. I dedicated four hours a day to writing. I’d wake up in the morning, drink something heavily caffeinated and then sit down at the computer. Stories flew out of my mind. My fingers flew over the keyboard as those tales were transcribed into works of literary genius. Anthologies published my short stories. Publishers clamored to buy my novels (okay, maybe not clamored.) My writerly life was on fire.

Then… life happened.smshed

I live on a farm. Not just any anywhere, but in the Ozark Mountains. Why is that different than say one in Kansas? There isn’t a single building on this place that has a new piece of lumber or nail in it.

“Buy a new hose? Are you insane? This one has been in the family for forty-three years.”

“There’s nothing wrong with rust, Claire. Just get a tetanus shot every ten years. You’ll be fine.”

My dad bought the tractor three years before I was born. Fortunately, it’s in better shape than I am, but like me, it has a hard time waking up in the morning and requires a great deal of pampering.

Not only do I live on a ramshackle farm, I live near my family. It took me three hours of quality time with my kin folk to recall my reason for moving five-thousand miles away in the first place. They’re nuts!

Somehow my writing time dwindled. Sure, I still had something heavily caffeinated in the morning, but that is where the writing routine ended. Instead of sitting down to better the world with my prose, I was outside feeding chickens and planting gardens. Farm workers needed to be fed and guess who cooked lunch?

Frustration ruled. I decided to take my writing life back. God knows, the romance world would weep without a new release from Claire Croxton! I’m a project manager by profession. I know how to create spreadsheets and I’m a master of getting jobs done on time and under budget. It was time to apply my skills to my writing life. I made a schedule. Wake up, drink caffeine, ignore e-mails, don’t answer the phone, hang a sign “I’m writing smut, stay out!” lock the door, write.

Then…life happened.

farm life 024It’s impossible to plan life. You can’t predict accidents, injuries, sickness or death. It’s impossible to know that your dad will die five days after being diagnosed with cancer. How do you schedule grieving time with your mother?

When your cousin calls and asks you to meet the ambulance at the hospital because her mother has been in a car accident, do you say “Sorry. I’m writing?” No. You go. Do you deny your mother’s request for a ride to the hospital to sit with her sister? No. You go. Do you refuse to attend your favorite aunt’s funeral because she’s being buried three counties away and you have to finish chapter ten of your latest novel? No. You go.

You forget your projects and you focus on your family.

Needless to say, it’s been a tough couple of years. Seems like every time I get back into the writing groove, something catastrophic occurs.

My mother, my greatest supporter, asked me the other day about my writing schedule. “Sugar dumpling, how’s that story, Loch Lonnie, coming along?”

“Not so well, Ma. I’ve been kind of distracted.”

She looked up from her knitting and said, “Call the Sisters.”

The Arkansas version of the Algonquin Round Table is comprised of brilliant novelists, poets, and inspirational speakers. We call ourselves The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pen. Every writer needs such a group of friends—people who understand your frustration and appreciate your creative process. Folks who will look you square in the eye and say, “That’s the stupidest thing you’ve ever written and you’ve written a lot of really, really bad stuff. I mean really bad stuff! And this takes the cake.”

Don’t get me wrong. I’m a strong believer in critique groups. I’m eternally grateful to Dusty Richards and Velda Brotherton for the Northwest Arkansas Writers Workshop. I’ll never forget the first time I read a passage at group. The stunned silence afterward wasn’t a good sign. Dusty telling me, “That ain’t bad for a government report, but this is fiction,” will forever ring in my ears. Their patience and guidance led to me becoming a published author. Critique groups are great, but they don’t know you viscerally.

Writers need to surround themselves with people who “get” them. That’s one of the great things about the Oklahoma Writers Federation Inc.  Conference. Writers can meet likeminded individuals who understand what it means to spend hours in your head working out the dialogue to a love scene or devising the perfect way to kill your main character’s abusive boyfriend and disposing of his body.

smsistersSeptMama was right—she always is—I needed the Sisters. One e-mail was all it took. Within minutes, messages of encouragement filled my inbox and our next meeting time was arranged. Over wine and pizza, the girls listened to my tales of woe. After a few minutes of commiseration, all their patience seeped from their bodies and they went into fierce-encouragement mode. It is impossible to ignore, four, strong, intelligent, talented women staring you down and doling out nuggets of wisdom.

I’ll spare you the tears and snark and sum up their advice. It’s nothing new, but something I need to hear on a regular basis. Bottom line: Making your writing a priority is the only way you’re going to be a successful writer. Sure, life gets in the way, but you must always make time for your writing. It’s your job. It’s your outlet. It’s your reason for being on this planet. So, WRITE!

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Comments on: "When Life Gets in the Way" (16)

  1. Claire, Thanks for the totally inspiring words for EVERYONE – writer or not – who needs to get back on track and focus on their life’s journey. The demons of mundane life tap-tap-tap on our windows trying to distract us from what we really love to do, and the other important details, like family, food, and shelter, need their time too. But friends help us refocus on our priorities and give us the strength to push through the underbrush. May every writer find those kindred souls who cheer, prod, and kick us in the butt now and then. Then, the sky’s the limit!

    • Thanks, Kim! You’re right. Good friends can help a person through anything. I’m very fortunate to have so many people in my life who cheer, prod and kick me in the backside.

  2. Grin .. I’m not a writer but, have you considered that farm, family and live experiences are all telling you ‘you destiny’ lies in a different direction? I considered myself an above average designer and builder of ornamental, one of a kind iron works. But then .. I remembered why I returned to country life. It’s because that’s where my happy place is!!!
    Good luck
    Merry Christmas and Happy New Year

    • Pobept, goodness, it never occurred to me that I should rethink my destiny. How interesting. I do have agree that country life is definitely where I’m happiest. Thanks 😉

  3. Claire, as always, you write what’s necessary. I’d try to say the same thing but mine would run more toward “when you’re up to your a$$ in alligators, it’s hard to remind yourself that your original intent was to drain the swamp.” Somehow, your words are more . . . um . . . soft and gentle. 🙂

  4. I love this! It strikes such a chord not only with us “writer” folks but anyone de-railed when life happens. And God bless those who “get us.” I have a similar group of chosen-sisters, and treasure them. Thanks for the inspiration.

    • Thanks, Amy! I have to say that I’ve always been amazed and impressed by the willingness of writers to help other writers. It’s a huge community of kindred spirits and I’m glad I finally found where I belong and fit in. Thanks again!

  5. I love this! And I love you! I am amazed at how you “handle” it all, give of yourself constantly, and yet you write. You are the perfect example of NO EXCUSES. 😉

  6. Hey there–been thinking of you a lot lately, especially during my Barrow visit. Give a call sometime (after your daily caffeine and writing!) and let’s catch up. I finish classes midweek next week and turn in grades next Thursday. FREEDOm for a few weeks. And…I am hoping that I will have an actual spring break next semester. Guess where I’ll be heading if I do? Barrow folks miss you and send their best and their love.

    • Ruby Blue, if you go to AK for spring break, I’m going with you!! Miss you terribly. I’ll give you a call soon. There’s so much to catch up on. Hugs!

  7. Your comments were well recieved on The Pulp Factory yahoo group. It was very inspirational for many of the writers there. Keep up the great work and I hope to have you back on The Book Cave soon to chat about your next novel.

  8. […] When Life Gets In the Way boy, I can relate to this! Lovely post most of us can relate to […]

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