Writer of Soul-Searching Snark

Posts tagged ‘dogs’

Karma Take Two

So, what goes around comes around. Remember the other day when I was talking about karma? My aunt and uncle lost their home in a fire and there was an abundance of well wishers and folks wanting to pitch in and help. My aunt and uncle are kind, thoughtful and generous, and deserve the kindness of strangers.

I, on the other hand, am experiencing one of those karma-bites-you-on-the-ass moments. As you know I have four dogs. I’m not a dog person, but strays keep showing up on my doorstep. I’ve said out loud, in front of God and everybody, that if I had my way, I’d only have 2 dogs: Apun and Luna.

Reba, the blue heeler mix, is a good dog, but she’s very jealous and she’s a bully. An absolute bully.  Luna quakes at the sight of her and that makes me mad. But, Reba is the only dog with any semblance of manners and she minds. Luna is a cute little pup that I found on the side of the road. She was around 4 weeks old and she wiggled her way into my heart. She never listens and she’s the master of reaching up on the counter and dragging down food. She’s annoying, but she cute and cuddly and I love her. Apun was the first dog to come into my life. She’s big, lame and partially deaf. Again, no manners. She runs wild, but does a great job of protecting the farm from coyotes and let me just tell you, a possum doesn’t stand a chance against her. That brings me to Kadee. Kadee is the latest addition to WTF Acres. It’s not that I don’t like her, because I do, but 4 dogs is just too many.

So, in front of God and everybody, I’ve stated that I wouldn’t be upset if the dog population on our farm dwindled. As a result, little Kadee has gone missing. Can’t find her anywhere. Even drove the dark roads last night and told neighbors she was missing. Nada. Poor little thing. She’s not very friendly, so I don’t think she’d go to somone if they called. She’s limping. I’ve been treating her for a torn something or other in her shoulder.

Am I sick? Damn straight. Do I deserve it? Damn straight. Does Kadee deserve it? Not at all.

Do you mind sending happy-puppy thoughts my way? Just think of all the good karma you’ll be reaping.


Dogs Get the Boot

Who me? I never sleep on the couch

I’m sure some of you remember my whining about my dogs a couple of weeks ago. They are sweet, rambunctious, boisterous and love a good rotten armadillo. They sleep in the house. Apun, the oldest and sweetest dog ever, resides on the couch. I yell at her to get down and she does. As soon as I go to bed, she jumps back on it as evidenced by the abundance of white fur on the blue fabric and the thud as she jumps down before I get into the living room and catch her up there again.

Reba likes to sleep under the bed. It’s her safe haven. She barely fits anymore and when she moves around to get comfortable, she shakes the bed as she rubs against the box springs.

The dogs beds were in front of the TV

Luna prefers the bed. It’s my fault. When she was a tiny puppy I tried to kennel train her, but her whining and barking kept me up all night. After suffering a fibromyalgia flare up, I threw her in bed with me. She’d whine when she needed out, then we’d go back to bed and instantly fall back asleep. Now, she’s potty trained, but she still likes sleeping with me. She’s cute, cuddly and only takes up 3/4 of the king-sized bed, so I let her stay.

That brings me to Kadee. She’s a cute little thing. She wiggled her way into my heart and I’m glad she came back to live with us. Only problem? She has no intentions of going outside to do her business when it’s dark. Nope. Not going to happen. She’ll go outside, run around the house to the back door and bark. When I let her back in, she walks across the floor and pees in front of the couch before crawling back on her dog bed.

This weekend, Ma and I went to the War Eagle Craft Fair. I attended my first War Eagle craft show when I was 5 and I loved it. Still do. There’s something really magical about the cool-autumn weather along with the colorful foliage combined with tents filled with gorgeous handmade crafts. Not to mention the Indian tacos enjoyed while sitting on the grassy banks of War Eagle Creek. As I walked among the beautiful crafts, I was inspired. I have cool stuff. I like my small hunting cabin in the woods. I couldn’t remember the last time I enjoyed it. The last time I sat in the living room and felt invited to be there. Could relax in its comfort.

There's no rough housing or tomfoolery going on here

So, what has stopped me from relaxing in my home? Dogs. 4 freaking dogs. The house stinks and everything is covered in dog fur. The floors are always nasty because mopping once a day isn’t enough to keep the floors free of muddy dog prints. Displaying pottery is out of the question because 4 frolicking dogs = broken everything. Forget having a box of tissues anywhere within dog reach. There’s nothing more disgusting than waking up to puppy poop and your Kleenex box contents strewn about the house.

My desire to live once again in a well-decorated, cozy home led to the dogs being banished. They are now being housed in the wood shed. It was difficult to refuse them entry last night as they gazed pitifully through the glass door. When that didn’t work, they scratched on the front door in a creepy, here’s Johnny, Jason and Freddy sort of way. It freaked me out enough that I actually locked my doors.

new feeding station

New home

The kids stayed out all last night. I slept through the night for the first time in weeks. The cats were all back on the bed. When I walked into the living room this morning there were no puddles or piles to dodge and nothing had gotten destroyed overnight.

It was wonderful!

How long do you think it’ll last? I’m already missing Apun.

Dogs! WTF?

Dogs! WTF?.

Dogs! WTF?

Gangsta of Love

There’s a reason I have a cat tattoo. I’m a CAT person. Not a dog person. CAT person! Got that universe?! I don’t give a rip what kind of lesson you’re trying to teach me. I give up. I’m destined to go through all eternity being tortured by dogs because I surrender. I can’t take it anymore.

Sure, cats can be annoying. They jump on the table, scratch the furniture and let’s face it, the litter box is downright icky. They tend to frolic through the house at a high rate of speed in the middle of the night and are picky eaters. Even with all their faults, they’re easier to live with than dogs.

I live in the boonies and the dogs are outside all day chasing deer, feasting on rotten armadillo, skinny dipping in the pond. They explore the woods and guard the ducks from invading hordes of unseen and/or nonexistent creatures. They’re great while they are outside.

The problem starts about 7 every night. After they eat dinner, 2 of the dogs want to go outside. The other 2 want to nap. As soon as the outside dogs want in, the other 2 want out.

No wait! Apun is inside? I must be with her. So, Reba stands at the door whimpering. Mama, mama, I want in. I want INNNNNNN.

Apun and Reba are inside, but Kadee and Luna are outside.

No, Mama, I must be with YOU. So, I let in Kadee and Apun goes outside to hang with Luna.

Dax (wonderful cat) crawls in my lap. Kadee sleeps next to my leg. We’re comfy. Considering vegging for a minute in front of the TV, but Apun MUST be inside. Has to be. Right. This. Minute.

She barks. Whines. Scratches the door. No results.

So, she runs around the house, jumps on the deck and stands in front of the big, glass door. She barks. Whines. Scratches the door.

There’s no ignoring her. The barks get louder, the scratching gets rougher and then she body slams the door.

The comfortable seating arrangement is disrupted when I have to get up to let Apun in. By now, I’m too annoyed to watch mindless TV and decide to go to bed and read. So, I have to get all the dogs inside. About the time, I reach the door to holler for everyone, a pack of coyotes passes through and the dogs take off.

Gassed the puppy with my shoe. Now, that's a good dog!

Leave the dogs out all night? Great idea. Until Apun stands in front of the bedroom window. She barks. Whines. Scratches the window.

Get up. Let the dogs in. Go back to bed. An hour later, Kadee needs to go outside. Since she’s in potty-train mode, I get up and let her out. Can she go out alone? No way. Everyone else goes outside and disappears into the darkened woods.

I get back to sleep only to be awakened a few hours later by dogs that want to come back inside.

Rainy days are impossible!!

This goes on all night. I haven’t had longer than 3 hours of uninterrupted sleep in weeks. You know what happens when I don’t get sleep? I get grumpy. You think I’m bitchy and hard to get along with when I’m well rested and smiling. Holy smokes. You haven’t seen grumpy until you witness me with 3 hours of sleep. It’s ugly.

Solution? I’d say bark collars and a magnetized doggie door. Okay, honestly, the first solution that came to me at 1:00 this morning was target practice, but now I’m jacked up on caffeine and I’m thinking doggie door. Fingers crossed I can convince one of the 2 folks who would be doing the installing that it’s a good idea.

Send positive thoughts my way. Or, even better, adopt one of my dogs!!! I’d keep you supplied in cookies for life! 🙂