Writer of Soul-Searching Snark

Posts tagged ‘quilts’

You Can Never Have Too Many __________________

My closet looks fabulous! Gorgeous even. In order to keep things pretty, I organize items by color. My friend, the master organizer, thinks I’m insane. She’s explained to me several times that I should organize the closet according to type of clothing: pants, skirts, shirts, dresses. I tried that. Really I did, but the purple skirts begged to be grouped with the purple shirts, so I went back to my color-wheel organization method.

The rest of the house still needs work though. All the books have been placed in bookcases and the pile of donate clothes has made its way into a plastic bag that is now sitting by the wood stove. I’m hauling everything else upstairs. I’ve decided to use the bunkhouse as a closet in order to get things out of the musty barn.

Sounds like a great plan, right? Instead of driving to the barn and sorting through tote after tote looking for a blouse, I just have to go upstairs. How can that be a problem? Well, you see… when everything is stored in totes its HIDDEN.

You can never have too many___________________

Shoes: black flat sandals, black mules, black Birkenstocks, black Mary Janes x 2 (The Israeli version and the Keen version,) black 1″ slip ons, black 2″ slip ons, black 3″ open toe pumps, black 4″ ankle-strap stilettos, black 4″ heavy-buckled dominatrix pumps, black patent leather thigh-high boots.

That’s just the black shoes. Don’t forget the red, brown, white, orange, purple shoes in addition to the sneakers, gardening clogs, hiking boots and farm shoes.

Okay, so I have a lot of shoes. When hidden in totes my obsession isn’t on display for all to see.

Unfortunately, I have other: You can never have too many__________

Quilts: When I lived in Kaktovik, I decided that I needed a hobby other than cooking. So, I started making quilts again. Kaktovik is an island in the middle of the Arctic Ocean with a population of 230, and there’s no road access. There was literally, I mean literally, NOTHING to do. So, I made a lot of quilts. I gave most of them away, but I still have tons. They were stored in the barn as well, but they smell awful–mildew, but fortunately, none is actually on the quilts. The result, they have to be stored upstairs. I have 9 quilts displayed in the living room. 9. In the living room.

Once again, my obsession will be laid out on beds upstairs and my little problem will be evident to everyone who walks up there.

You can never have too many________
Books, dishes, eye shadow, lipstick, purses, hoodies….

Am I the only one with this condition? Make me feel better and let me know what you have too many/much of.



I decided to clean out the teeny-tiny closet in my hunting cabin in the woods. It’s a hunting cabin. Hunters don’t need tons of storage space for shoes and cocktail dresses. Well, they might, but I’ve never seen a guy traipsing through the woods in camo pants and red pumps. My closet cleaning isn’t that big of a deal or at least it shouldn’t be. But, it’s me. I never manage to do anything in a simple way.

I started with three piles: summer clothes, donate, and keep it regardless of the fact that I’ll never where it again. I added some hanging shelves and purchased some really cool hangers that keep silky, gauzy shirts from sliding off the hanger onto the closet floor.

Sounds rather organized doesn’t it? Only problem? I emptied my closet on Saturday. It’s now Monday and I still have piles of clothes and shoes all over the house. Why? Because I have a short attention span. Right smackdab in the middle of organizing my closet, I decided that a bookcase that was in the bedroom had to go.

What did I do? I shoved the piles of clothes out of the way (donate clothes are now mixed with summer clothes,) and after emptying out the bookcase dragged it into the living room.

No biggie. The bookcase wasn’t that heavy, but… In order to put the bookcase where I wanted it. I had to move furniture, which required unplugging everything and adding a power strip to that area. Since I had the couch moved, I decided it was time to change the quilt displayed along its back to a bright purple one to combat the upcoming gray days of autumn. That required a trip to the barn where I discovered that all the quilts smelled mildewy. Fortunately, none of them actually have mildew on them, but I have to move the quilts out of the barn.

So, now in addition to the piles of shoes and clothes, there are piles of books everywhere and totes filled with quilts line the walls of the living room.

I clean the way I write. I start with a project in mind–a nice 3K short story about falling in love in Santorini. Then, I go off into a tangent, which leads to another tangent and the next thing I know I have 100K and a snark-filled contemporary romance. Unfortunately, my cleaning career will never lead to fame and fortune, but no need to worry since my writing career will! (fingers crossed!)

If you don’t hear from me in 3 days send in that super hot rescue team from Japton, okay? Shoot, I might bury myself under clothes and quilts just to get a visit from them…